Wednesday, May 04, 2011
I never understood the act of saying one thing while meaning another or um, LYING. I'm not a fan of insincerity and have stupidly high values when it comes to moral judgment. If you don't have anything nice to say...It doesn't mean I think I don't make mistakes, if anything I am hyper-critical of myself which is very annoying for me and for those who have to listen to me when I am tearing myself up (thank you YOU, you and YOU!) I am keenly aware of my faults (save for those I don't know I have...heehee) and the moment I'm away from a situation say a job interview, party or conversation with a friend, the deconstruction begins and I panic that I talked too much (I always do) or said too much or didn't say enough or was too negative or too positive or...or...or? Frankly it makes me wonder why anyone would put up with me (and I so appreciate those of you who do, I really do).
And I'm rambling but there is a sort of point or maybe a reminder to myself. I had a job interview last week that was sorely disappointing in the lack of respect and professionalism on the part of the interviewer. I came home to vent about it left and right and it made wonder if it had been so long I forgot how to interview but here's the thing, I used to hire people. I used to hold interviews. I know how to interview. I know how to be interviewed. It's enough to make me wonder if it had been so long that the process had changed or is it that technology has changed us? A friend mentioned that there is a lack of face to face interactions these days and maybe that was the case and in some ways I believe she is right. With younger people perhaps this would be true but can Facebook, twitter and all the rest change us that much in such a short period of time? Wait, I know that answer. Strike it, reverse it. Sigh.
And to toss another stick onto the fire, yesterday I left feedback for an Amazon seller that was FAIR. Sure we got the item in time and it was what they said it was. All in all it was a fair transaction. This morning I receive an email from the seller asking me to remove my NEGATIVE feedback and for a moment I felt really bad and wondered if I had done something wrong but after thinking of it I know I didn't. See, it was a fair transaction. Not good and not bad. If we all continue to leave GOOD or EXCELLENT feedback because we were delighted to receive our items in the time alotted we're doing everyone a disfavor. Purchases should arrive on time, don't you think?
I'm really feeling like an old fuddy-duddy but I refuse to lower my expectations. Keeping them high will weed out the riff-raff and keep me connected to making sure that I, in return, offer only the best of myself to my family, my friends, customers, readers and even those random interactions in job interviews or while walking around town. Some of my best is even letting you see me at my worst for what am I without being me, warts and all?