on boys and love and the power of ourselves

Back in my other life I worked as a children's bookseller. I was good. Very good. I knew my books and loved being around them. In the young adult section we had quite a few books for girls that dealt with feelings and emotions. Actually, we carried a lot of titles published to ideally 'help' girls and young women muddle through the muck that is junior high, high school, body image, and bullying. We had one title for boys. One.

I remember thinking that if only we raised our boys to be comfortable with their emotions, to be comfortable enough to be sad or to cry or to simply be sensitive or even themselves we might not need all the books we had for girls. I was in my mid-twenties and boy, was I naive.

Yet.

I  do believe that if we could redefine what true masculinity is to allow our boys and young men to be firmly safe in their skin, to know without a doubt that they are boy enough, man enough no matter how "sensitive" they may be they would be stronger. We would all be stronger. Humans tend to be afraid of what they do not know or what they perceive goes against what is socially acceptable as defined by their peers and family; as influenced by television and films, and now our vast network of social media sites. All those influences tell us that a masculine man is strong, physically strong...ripped is the word we use today, handsome in a Hollywood way, a vocal and loyal sports fan...he sets cars on fire, chest bumps other fans, destroys property and picks fights with whomever is in their way all in the name of sports. Speaking of fights, a true man is an ass kicker, has a hot wife and drives an expensive car. A true man does not garden or use a crockpot, does not enjoy grocery shopping or brewing the perfect cup of tea. No, a true man only cooks exotic foods in his sparse and steel kitchen and drinks alcohol. A lot of alcohol.

Television, film and more importantly video games portray masculinity as aggressive. Aggressive, masculine men are powerful. Powerful men have the world at their fingertips. Powerful men are revered. Powerful men are not bullied. Powerful men do the bullying. And hey, it's okay because that is how it works...according to our media.

But this is wrong. So very wrong.

The most wonderful and astounding thing about people is that we are so very different in our abilities. We learn from each other, we lean on each other, we help, we buoy, and we make the world stronger. We also refuse to learn, we stand alone, we scoff, we bully,  and we make the world a sadder place. The power we have within ourselves to hurt frightens me.  The power within ourselves to help and heal is astounding. So astounding. A person who feels alone might carry a smile from a stranger for days and feel less so.  We are all on this planet together. We all have hearts that beat. We are humankind. It shouldn't be difficult to care. It shouldn't be difficult to love. Yet for some reason it is.

To cast judgment, to scoff, to ridicule a person because of who they are is a manifestation of  self-loathing or fear. I'm not speaking of dislike. Dislike happens and if all you do is think you would rather not associate with that person than you are not doing anything wrong. But, if you choose to entangle yourself in a hate-mongering campaign simply because said person drives a car you don't like, is not as tall as you or maybe taller, grows their own food, reads the bible, doesn't read the bible, makes minimum wage, has a stock portfolio or some other thing that you deem unacceptable then you need some reflection, you need to figure out how to like yourself, you need to be called out, you need to be stopped, you need to be loved.

Life is hard. Really hard. Life is especially difficult for our young men working on their ideal self on who they are. How can anyone be their true selves when their talents or desires are ridiculed? Life is also hard for our young women trying to make their way as well. I know I am leaning to the love, love, love mantra and I know that all of our children are important (girls as well as boys) but I want to really focus and put out there that our boys need our love and support no matter where their interests lie. Boys need to learn that to be manly, to be truly masculine is to be yourself. To have confidence in your abilities, to be proud of your quirks or your intellect. Stand up for yourself, stand up for others.

True men love.

paperbag art

I just realized I never posted about the art of the month that went with the november bed. I also realized that I did not take pics along the way so I will simply talk you through it.

I used one paper bag from Trader Joe's and cut out the bottom and along one side to open it up. I then cut the large sheet into three pieces of varying widths. 

Next, I used a straight edge to create a series of slits along the length of each strip of paper. Some of the slits traveled the entire length while others did not. I had no specific plan and just cut away.

I keep all my paper scraps in two vintage suitcases and so I dug one of the cases out of the lcoset and rifled through it for some paper scraps in happy colors. Those scraps were cut itno strips about an inch or so wide and piled together into a smile.

I then hunkered down on the living room floor and began weaving my scraps in and out of the slits I cut into the paper bags. Again, with no plan other than to make something. Once I finished, I flipped over each panel and got kooky with the masking tape and taped all my paper strips into place. 

A few loops of tape on the back and a couple of happy washi pieces at the outside corners and ta-da! Easy peasy paperbag art for the november bed! 

the december bed

 

a wee bit of fancy

I wore a dress today. A dress for errand running and holiday shopping. I may have slipped it on over my head because I wanted to feel a bit fancy but I may have slipped it over my head because all of my jeans have preschool paint on them. I'll let you decide. I also added mascara AND eyeliner and red lipstick (of course).

And yes, I wore leggings with my dress which is not at all fancy but the dress was vintage and the leggings hd owls on them...does that count? 

It's been a busy week at the school and so my works in progress are works in progress-to-be. I have three for the 'do coming up soon (crossing fingers) and if I can find my list I'll try to get a diy up here as well. Until then have a happy happy weekend and slap on a wee bit o' fancy.

diy: lickity split advent

I know, I know you're probably thinking Jessica, you are totally pushing it, December is...afterall...tomorrow but I meant to get this finished sooner and well...I am an ace procrastinator if I do say so myself so this was just finished, as in an hour ago and the light was slip-slipping away and the rain has been coming down for a few days and I was cursing at the yarn that kept falling and the tack that refused to anchor the whole shebang and then I couldn't find the bag of wrapped sweets to add to a few of the pockets so those pockets are empty (shhh, don't tell anyone that part) and there are still massive piles of stuffity spilling and all topsy-turvy around the tiny casa but I did it. I finished it and the photos are servicable and now I am typing this all while enjoying a happy jar of eggnog that I can actually taste (yay sniffer!) and so I do hope you enjoy it...the calendar that is, eggng is not so easy to share over the internet.

coffee filter advent calendar

*25 cone coffee filters

*white paper

*colored scrap paper

*glue stick

*scallop punch

*markers

*yarn

*wooden spoon

*tiny trinkets and sweets

Type in advent calendar into any search engne and you will certainly see dozens and dozens of brillianttly pretty ideas. From envelopes to matchboxes to tiny wrappd packages there is no shortage of ways to display a happy bit of advent for the holiday season. This calendar came about when  I wanted to create one using items I had on hand. The coffee filters are perfectly shaped for a unique spin and the natural unbleached color is pleasing to the eye. The yarn, a small ball of varigated yarn that I had picked up at the Goodwill outlet for a dime was already out on the table and well, I seem to have more wooden spoons that any households need.  

Gather up your supplies and punch out 25 scallops using a decorative punch. You can use stickers or write up the numbers using a marker or two. 

 Glue your numbered circles to strips of colored paper for a pop of color and glue those happy bits to your coffee filter. Punch holes through the top of each filter and fill with tiny treasures and trinkets.

Cut out thirteen lengths of yarn in a variety of lengths and knot all but one, twice; once at the end and again about six inches or so above it (if your yarn is skinny, you might need to double or triple knot each knotty knot).  Knot the remaining bit of yarn once at the end and thread filter number 25 onto it. Double up the other 24 filters until all the yarn is cozy cozy with the filters. 

Wrap your wooden spoon with yarn or give it a hapy coat of paint. I used the tried and true friendship knot on my spoon. It seems there is very little I will not wrap with yarn. Give your wooden spoon a hanger of yarn by looping a bit over each end and hanging it on your door or wall.

 Tie all the happy trinket filled filters to your spoon so that you have a happy party going on and get to counting down! 

Tis the season! 

a little filler

 ...while I scramble to get my act together and get some crafting accomplished! Here are some goodies I picked up on our summer road trip. The awesome quilt and pom-pom trimmed bedspread were gifts from Tara, the brown gingham mugs are from my sister and the rest was thrifted in either Arizona or Oklahoma...wheeeeee!