'roid week: day four

since i had class in pasadena, i thought i would wander and mayhaps shoot the neighborhood around school. it was too hot to wander so instead i trekked on over to this nifty little market that has the happiest paint job ever and snapped this while a group of young folk hanging out with a large snake watched me like i was a freak.

grandma

i can't believe it has been a year since you died. i'm still stumbling about trying to figure out who i am in this nutty world. i never realized how much i defined myself through you. even through the tough and so very difficult times, i loved you and felt my purpose was to be there for you, to advocate, to share and to keep you thinking and rethinking what you believed to be true about the world around you. this day marks a past year of loss for me. loss, confusion, anger, insecurities and more. on the heels of your death, came the dreaded hsg and confirmation that my insides are as screwed up as my outsides. it is no wonder i have had a hell of a year. the year is still not exactly what i was hoping, but i'm working on it. i'm working on me. i'm graduating next week and it is a bittersweet victory. i think i just need to focus on pushing through this cloud that has been swirling all around me. it has been like a silent storm that never erupted yet still kept me anchored in one spot afraid to live my life. i suppose i need to ignore that storm. i need to live my life whatever it may be. it scares the heck out of me. it does, but i will. i miss you.

picture this

because it really is all about me! well, at least for this moment, in my head it is. see, i'm graduating next week. graduating. grad-u-ate-een! holy crap, i'm graduating! not to get all sloppy, sobby but this is something i never ever in my wildest dreams thought i would do. i never dreamed i could actually go to college, the college of my choice even and then, to finish, to actually finish and have a degree i can walk with, that i can use, that i can apply to most anything? i am feeling overwhelmed, humbled and ecstatic...if that is even possible. (and at this very moment, as i type this, i am weepy city and all snurfled up) i'll not ruin the moment with the whole, i still have no idea what to do with my life bit.

instead, i will talk about parties. i'm not walking. personal choice. if my mamos was alive and here, i would rollerskate across that stage but with her gone and granny too, i don't feel it is something i could or would want to do. selfishly speaking, i would like a party. a camera party. a party where we all dress up and take pictures. where we caravan to photobooths all around. where i get all camera themed presents and we laugh until we're on the floor all cramped up with the giggles.

a party where there is pie and thai food and samosas and mojitos. where i set up a craft table and make you make me a camera, be it painted, sculpted or out of wood. a party where you, all of my favorite internet peeps are there...like the greatest meet-up ever! a party to end all parties full of fun, laughter and picture upon picture upon picture taken. wouldn't that be dreamy?

if only that could happen. who knows? maybe for my fortieth birthday, if i plan now we could pull it off. this isn't a plea for anyone to throw me a party so hush you, this is my dream and my make believe for the day. and if it behooves you to think about this, please, climb into a photobooth sometime next friday and take a picture for me. and please, oh please, don't forget to post it!

polaroid week: day 2

went out and about to find a good shot. wandered out into the intersection to capture the donut hut in burbank, california. happy polaroid week!

finally on the ball!

it's polaroid week and i caught it before it ended! whoo-hoo!

the week in review: april 27-may 3

the week was the very definition of cabin fever. i woke up sick on monday and carried it through like a basket full of eggs. i'm still sick but on the mend and i have reached the whiney, coughing, sore throat phase. enjoy my cabin fever pics...