sometimes there are regrets

i made the mistake of breaking open the hollow chocolate bunny i bought on my birthday. the bag was purchased not for the bunny at all but for the chocolate chicken that nestled inside. yes, a chocolate chicken. i say mistake because i broke it open. broke. it. open. oh chocolate bunny shards...there is no going back.

thoughts on this rainy day

there is not a enough time.

there is simply not enough time to do what i want to do. what i wish to do. even with all this time i have, there is not enough time. for someone else, there may be heaps and bounds and oodles of time but for me and the cacophony that is in my head, there is not enough.

i wish i had a quiet mind. it's loud in here, in the noggin that is mine. there are thoughts and words and songs and colors. there is a rise and fall of sharp points and below level thoughts all spinning and twirling in a single cluster. some kissing cousins but most are singular like snowflakes fluttering about, melting to nothing before i can put them in my pocket. like vivid dreams that lose their color once morning comes. all of this, and that and that, and that keeps me from doing. from DOING. i am so panicked by the idea of losing these thoughts that i sit and breathe deeply all closed eyes and fists. i make lists and lose lists and make new lists that get lost all over again. i stack them neatly, i reread them and sometimes they get tucked away into library books,  forgotten until after the books have been returned. i hope those lists confuse and amuse.


i wish i had an idea. a good idea. just a single idea. i have many, many that may be good or great or brilliant but they are so loud i cannot focus so today i am wishing for one. for one brilliant thought to flutter down for one moment. one quiet.  one brilliant. one moment.

welcome to 40

oh wow, can you believe it? i'm 40. 40! i remember when my mamos turned 40 and now i feel odd. huh. and just to let ya know, there was an interview today and yes, peanut butter cookies. no pie but i'm sure i'll get some someday and swoony swoon swoon swoon...there is a new lens for the rebel (thank you mama and sister a-go-go!).  i'm now off for a bath with mr. bubble then a mojito and some bad guilty pleasure television. thank you for all the wonderful birthday greetings! happy february!

birthday pinterest

 1. ouma

2. sarah london

3.jek in the box

4. Elle's Studio

more pretty birthday wishes on my pinterest.

plans? what plans?

good evening folks! i really wanted to have a better grasp on this day, the very last of my thirties. alas, i don't. i simply don't. not that it is a bad day, it isn't, it's just that it doesn't stand out in any way and i really wanted it to stand out, ya know? i did have a job interview today and that is a promising thing. but other than that, i am at a loss.

even the camera is at a loss. we celebrated my birthday a few days ago with a thai dinner and a most delicious cake from here. tomorrow i plan on being completely lazy save for a job interview and i cannot decided what to do for dinner, waffles perhaps? i do know that i want pie, apple pie to be exact and while homemade is good, sarah lee will do just fine. i'm also going to take a bath, and just so you know, i do indeed bathe on a regular basis but tomorrow i am going to take a bath, of the lazy and luxurious kind. i suppose i need some bath stuff for that so maybe after my job interview i will pick something up.

and after said bath, there will be pajamas and good tea (oh crappity crap, i'm out of good tea) and a good sit on the sofa to watch ANTM, do i know how to celebrate or what? and in between all that nothing, i have a CRAFT project to finish that has been eluding me for a week now and there are bits of green whimsy to photograph and upload to the shop so it looks like the first day of my forties won't be too different than my thirties and i suppose that is as good a place as any to start.

happy february.

scenes from a rainy day