Thursday, September 16, 2010

in which i dream of an enormous mantis (and billy got pants)

seriously. again i slept fitfully but i managed to struggle awake in the morning and for the first time in a long while i wasn't the last one up. but i went back to bed eyes filled with grogginess and did one of those tumble to sleep falls where i the dreams were 3D, hi-tech, HD and what have you.

you know the kind, the kind in which they are so fantastic that your blood pumps with happy and your life seems to be of the most magical kind. where you hum and sing and skip and see impossible things (at least six) that are so magical the only thing to do is BELIEVE. in my case i saw a witch-baby sized mantis land outside the front window. it attached itself to the glass and hung there with its head slowly taking in the scenery. i was inside tippy-tapping away on the laptop (as i am wont to do) and i startle with blood pumping because an insect THAT BIG is SCARY. intrigue sets in along with my love of non-icky bugs and i creep up to the window to investigate. from underneath the mantis is all crisscrossed and veiny much like a fall leaf freed from its branch. the head moves to look at me (as mantis' are prone to do) and i see that the top-front-back (?) of the thing DAZZLES. it is black, black, black with a patchwork of colors scattered about as if it were an appliqued wall piece from somewhere not home. i gasp and hold my breath and grab the closest camera to photograph it all the while it poses with an elegance that brings tears to my peepers.

having taking a zillion-and-a-half photos i run to grab mr. a-go-go or sister a-go-go who are all outside elsewhere not near this majestic being. i run with my hands and arms a-flapping and gather everyone to look and when we round to the front of the house it is not there at least not that we can see and i am gasping and holding my hands up demonstrating the "one that got away" syndrome i hear many a fisherperson experiences. they look at me as if i am quite bonkers and i grab the camera to show them but there are no pictures camping out on the tiny smudged-up screen. with a start i find myself awake, yet not, and thinking oh drats it was only DREAM but then i spy the camera all tilty stashed across the room. i stumble towards it, turn it on and to my delight i spy with my near sighted eyes an magical mystical mantis decked out in rainbow colors camping out on the window in front of the house! i run out of the room and through the house wincing with the knowledge that i am indeed the last one up. no one is to be found until i hear the family a-go-go out in the garden. wheeling in their directions i hear a pathetic howl as i step on the poor witch-baby's tail in my haste which makes my heart race and WAKES ME UP all over again. so confused am i that i simply lay there in the darkened room seriously considering if maybe i was still asleep and in yet another dream.

i am disappointed to confirm that i was indeed not and there was no such magical-mystical mantis rooming out on our window. just a very sandy and very dirty witch-baby returning from her secret hollow in the neighbor's backyard. drats.

can you imagine?


  1. Is Witch Baby from the Weetzie Bat books? I recently reread them all, including the new one about Weetzie at age 40. I didn't discover them until the late 90's, wish I'd known about them earlier.

    If Witch Baby has her name for another reason, I guess you should just disregard this 8-) or maybe go go read the books anyway.

  2. that is exactly how witch-baby got her name. ;) i'm a native los angeleno so the weetzie books are extra special in my heart. check out my weetzie tour pictures!

  3. Have you ever thought about being an author?