|there are 47 birds in this photo...|
So here I am, buried under blankets listening to the birdies (and the neighbor's dog) enjoying the breeze that sneaks in through the window. I have laptop in lap and am positively bored. I don't feel like looking at pinterest, I canceled Netlfix in December, and am on a Facebook hiatus that should be a drop but darn if Candy Crush doesn't keep me there (not that anyone noticed save for you). I'm having an existential crisis in regards to the living me and the online me. If I fade away from Facebook will anybody notice and if nobody notices do I cease to exist at all? I've been feeling this way ever since we returned from our BIG road trip. Most will probably roll their eyes but I am a person who needs friendships validated via letters, email, and phonecalls. Liking a post on Facebook doesn't cut it. I am bummed by the large number of emails, fb messages and voicemails I have left for old friends that have gone unanswered. I've been tending a garden full of drought tolerant plants methinks. Sometimes I think I should drop it all..this blog, flickr, facebook, etc. but then the sad raccoon creeps out and vanity hits and I tether myself again to this thing called social media but fnd myself more often than not depressed by it all. I used to be gung-ho for it. I used to think the internet could cultivate real solid relationships. And it did, it did not long ago but now we are all so used to instant gratification that unless you are a constant you are out of the game. I am aware that we all have our own lives to live and families to raise and be with but if you have time to instagram something you have time to tell an old friend you re thinking of them, do you not?
Eegads...I just had an unsettling thought all wrapped up in ego. Everyday I have moments where I am reminded of people who have wandered through my life. When those moments happen and they are people I can contact, I do (everyday in fact with no reply) if they are not in my life, I try to find them even though I have tried before. I think how lucky I am to have these memories and to have these people in my life and to be honest I want people to think the same of me. Selfish isn't it? Vain? Now I feel like an ass.
Let's chalk it up to cold meds had I been taking any...I just want to say I appreciate you and you and you and here's to 2014, making new friends and saying goodbye to the old.
(This post was not planned in the least. I was going to write about my adventure in attempting a capsule wardrobe but that will have to come later....especially since I have missed two days now to being sick...but I do have three for ya...)