Wednesday, May 22, 2013

a very large and extremely quick guest amongst the chickens


The new tiny casa seems to be home to a great number of spiders. Perhaps there is some sort of arachnid yelp out there that lets them eight legged critters know we are a 5 star, traditionally non-squashing-of-spiders-kind-of-place. Truth. We're not spider squashers unless there is evidence of danger (those black beauties with the red markings sadly DO get a smoosh or two).

Now that the word is out there that the tiny casa is an arachnid nirvana the hordes have been popping in to visit with a few overstaying their welcome. The old tiny casa had oodles of spiders as well (don't tell my sister though, she's not a fan) and most of those spiders were of the same family. You know the kind...the delicate dudes with the small bodies and long legs that liked to get their sauna on in the shower. The new tiny casa however seems to be a cruise ship destination and the variety is astounding.

Often the ceiling in the living room it a favorite destination for dark jumpy types. They tend to camp out and camouflage themselves into looking like a raisin which is silly because for one, we're not raisin eaters and two, why would a raisin be stuck to the ceiling? Oftentimes I will spot it and think "Is it dead?" and then a few days later it has moved a smidge or two in another direction. If I look up again and notice it gone moments later, I am certain it is sneaking up on me and I have to do a thorough search of the sofa to make sure it isn't up to mischief.

You might wonder why we don't go all smoosh-crazy and smetimes we wonder as well but really, the only other insect problem we have is ants. Ants really like the tiny casa when it is wet outside. Ants do not get the same consideration as the spiders do, ants get smooshed or vacuumed and the whole time I'm smooshing and vacuuming I'm apologizing. One or two here or there is fine but when the masses move in the vacuum comes out. Recently however I've been smooshing some singles as a two weeks ago they were getting a bit bitey and I'm just not into that.

And now I am rambling and you may be wondering what the heck do chickens have to do with spiders and other than both of them residing in our bathroom, nothing. Oh no, not real cluckers mind you, faux fowl. If you know me at all you will know of my fondness for chickens (and now it seems, spiders). In our tiny bathroom above the twahlet hangs a pallet shelf mister hammered together when we first moved in. On the pallet shelf resides a platoon of chickens in a variety of mediums; featherd, ceramic, chalkware, plastic, you name it...

The other night I stepped into the tiny bathroom to brush my teeth when I noticed the large resident spider was no longer in residence under the sink a smidge and next to the mouthwash. I gave my toothbrush a good tap to rid it of water, tucked it back into the squirrely mug in the cabinet and turned around to leave and startled. We had a new resident spider much larger and long legged than the last and this one was socializing with the chickens. Like I have previously stated we don't get all smoosh crazy here and generally, we leave the arachnid army alone but when said arachnids are quite large and in a location that is a perfect launch pad for landing on our persons we tend to take offense and remove the critters using something not unlike the bee catcher aka cricket catcher. I alerted the mister with a hearty laugh (okay, maybe a yelp) and he arrived with a wee empty yogurt container and our cable bill. As he gently tried to coax the critter into the container without damaging any critter-limbs the darn critter kept zipping this-way and that. One by one, mister kept handing me chickens which really were in need of a good dusting, and tried to get closer to the very large, extremely quick and now pretty agitated arachnid.

By this time I am in the doorway of the tiny bathroom and mister is facing me as he is attempting the delicate procedure when suddenly the damn thing jumps off the shelf and straight at the mister. With a squawk and a bok, the mister jumps back and does a little dance asking m if the critter is on him. It is not and I'm certain I did not see it jump but mister swears it did. We admit defeat and go back to whatever it was we were doing. The mister returns to the computer to see if he can solve the mystery of our very sick hard drive (knock on wood) and I return to the washing and dusting off of chickens. Though there was a moment when I looked at mister again and thought I saw the critter ON him and I might have "eeped" which made the mister jump like a fool and I felt so bad but I laughed so hard.

After the chickens were dried and um...photographed I moseyed on back to the bathroom only to discover the return of the very large and extremely quick arachnid. He or she was camping out on the bottom shelf next to the chicken puzzle and when I called out to mister to return with the catcher she or he tried to pick a fight with me as I removed the remaining chickens from the the shelf. Man, that critter was super speedy...wait, no, that critter was super-dee-duper speedy. Eeps!

Eventually the damn thing was liberated to the front lawn. Mister began to carry it out to the street but I hollered it should be placed near the pots and plants so that it might find sustenance on whatever chewy insect was decimating my plants. Mister hollered back that it will just return to it's roost and I stood there in the doorway laughing as we hollered over where to free the very large and extremely quick visitor from another world.

8 comments:

  1. This is so funny - it made my morning! I'm afraid I would have squashed the darn thing. Love this story . . . have a great day!

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    1. Hi Clare! I think one of the reasons I liberate them as they are TOO BIG to squash. The ick factor in feeling it pop gives me the heebie jeebies. Ick! Thank you for the story love!

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  2. We are related. Spiders have taken up residence here also. We try to move them back outdoors if we can catch them, but alas, they are quick. I also observe, in your chicken pic, a twin of my current FB avatar. https://www.facebook.com/dk.zody

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    1. I love our chicken twins! Spiders begone!

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  3. This cracks me up! Ants are fair game in our house, too. But, my rule on spiders is if they come within reach of my short person t-Rex arms, they get the smoosh as they completely creep me out.

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    1. Ants drive me bonkers! They invade to get of the rain and they invade to get out of the sun. Sheesh! I understand the creep out factor...I'm not a fan of earwigs. Shudder!

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  4. This has been an epic spring here in Oregon for large (giant really) fuzzy black jumping spiders. I have never seen this many this BIG before, but since they don't hurt people and they are kinda cute we liberate them too. I did however have a different aggressive black unidentified spider come at me in the bedroom at night time, which I did squish or THOUGHT I squished. I'm not going to tell you where he was found the next day, needless to say a dance of total squick was done by me including various squicky ewwwws. Thank you for the very funny recounting of your spider adventure.

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    1. yikes! I used to have night terrors that involved enormous spiders dropping from the ceiling on me while I slept. I would have to wake up and remove all the blankets just to make sure it wasn't there. I do love jumping spiders...just not in my bedroom...Let's do the squick dance together, shall we? ;)

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