Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
I know, intoxicating news, isn't it?
Okee dokee, I need to find where I put my focus. Happy Monday folks!
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
I write this because of all the people bashing I read about on facebook posts, pinterest quotes, blog posts and the like. My first reaction is to roll my eyes, mumble something about the poster and then feel angry for a while but I need to let that go, turn it away from myself and reign in my thoughts on cultural relativism and how it can apply to any type of culture, not just ethnicity and geography. Recently a fb friend posted a comment I found super offensive, ignorant and hateful on their personal page. Being that it was their personal page, I did not jump into the fray to share my opinion though it made me sadder than sad. Mostly because this person will probably not see that their comment (and the ensuing comments after) were so hateful in their context. I also wanted to drop this person as a contact but felt that would be running away and burying my head in the sand. I can only be me and continue with my stories of my experiences and hope that those who can relate will share theirs with me as well. Think of it as working from the inside out. Model by example and don't point fingers or lecture. No person enjoys a lecture. That's not to say I don't ranty-rant away in the safety of my own home to the people in my (lovely) bubble. I do. It's all about processing and engaging in a conversation and if you are lucky, you will have friends and family who do not always agree with you, who poke sticks in yer spokes so you go flying off your happy bike, landing hard with a new perspective. The view from the ground is a little different from up on your cushy bike seat.
I had more in my head that seemed organized on this thought but it has kinda slipped a little. The nice queue that originally formed got tired of waiting and now all the points are partying at the coffee maker making me feel anxious and jittery. I've been having some sad-raccoon days for a few weeks because I have foolishly been viewing myself through the filter of comparison. I was holding myself up to all these successful bloggers and seeing all the ways I don't and will never compare and I felt a bit like Oblio with no point upon my noggin. And if I had no point, what was I worth? I know, NOT a good idea...bad raccoon! Bad raccoon! But this is the way my crazy chemical works and so I had to muck through it all and wallow in the bits of pity that followed and then write things down because I have been having horrible allergies as well and wondered if they all went hand in hand...chemicals, hormones and all that jazz. I began to think really poorly of myself and my lack of accomplishments (in comparison to the super bloggers out there) until I began to think of the things I did before this internet savvy world. I've been blogging in one way or another since 2002 friends. That is TEN years! I've been blogging for ten years. Yikes! I stated out on Diaryland and the LJ and blogged Dear Diary style...it wasn't until 2006 that I began with the DIYs and other bits. I've seen my projects fall flat back then but picked up now with success (not by me though, I'm always a bit too early to the party) I've seen trends go full circle, hitting hard, fading out, only to return. I've seen colors become Prom Queen and supermodels then get ostracized only to be rediscovered with a new name and nose job. I've seen a lot, and through it all and before I have lived my life. It's not any life anyone would aspire too and I think that's what my whole problem was. I was jealous. Am jealous of those pretty bloggers out there who are the prom queens and most populars. The ones who people emulate and want to be. The ones who own homes and have beautiful babies...all those things I will never have or ever be and I slipped into a downward spiral wondering what my place was in the scheme of things. Wishing I had some sort of flash and fabulousness that would make people remember me in some way.
How's that for sorry thinking? Seriously, I shake my head in embarrassment at my needy self. I was trying to relate and compare to all these truly awesome internet folk through my experiences and when I found they didn't mesh I felt like I was pointless. I have had to pull up from my middle-aged brain story-worthy moments to remember that I have had some amazing experiences. I may not have ever traveled Europe on my own or purchased anything designer-ish. I may have battled with stupid credit card debt and have nothing to show for it (why oh why did I not buy art when I had the chance?) I may not own a home or ever be a mother but I do have stories, crazy stories; super silly and ridiculous stories. I may have had a disadvantaged childhood and lacked many things but goodness, I had a most loving and creative mother. I may have lost my mother when I needed her most but I had grandma and while it was one of the most difficult things I have ever done in my life, I tell you, the opportunity to be with her and care for her and show her grace and love like she had never had before is something I hold in my heart and wish upon others. I may not be able to pull of fashion and cute clothes but if given a chance, I can style you up like there is no tomorrow. I may lack the lung power to ride my bike as often as I like but I can still stretch and lift and dance it up with my mister and speaking of my mister, I have him. Now THAT is something super special. I have him, I have us and we may both lack pointy noggins and have oodles of regrets and moments of melancholy that last far too long but we really do have a good beat that you can dance to. It might seem slow or outdated but if given the chance you might find us amusing.
I'm sharing all this because I think we're all looking for something here on the internet and in our lives. We may want to be noticed or appreciated. We may want to simply share in a conversation or just share ourselves. We want to relate to others and we will, just not everybody and that is okay. We don't have to. We do however need to relate to ourselves. We need to grow and we need to be accepting, faults and all. We need to know that the world and others hold so much more and that variety is a good thing. We need to know that unless we share, we won't know we can relate. Share a little, share a lot, it is up to you but try and remember that we all need a little hug now and then. A wee pat on the back ain't so bad either. Something that shows the other person that you connected in some way, whether it is a smile to a stranger, holding the door open, engaging in conversation, purchasing something handmade, writing a thank you letter, leaving a comment or giving someone a poke, you'll be amazed at how much that little something can carry a person to cheerfulness. On the flip side, it's okay to wallow and feel sad but don't let it take you away. Think of the wallow as a gift of self reflection. Of mastering your feelings and what you need in your life. It is a moment to focus on yourself but in a kind voice full of good things and maybe even a little self-mockery. Humor after-all is one of our greatest gifts.
On that note, I thank you. I thank you for sticking by me and reading my rants. I thank those of you who do comment and email me. I have had some wonderful conversations with you. I thank you for shopping my etsy shop and for enjoying my photos and I thank you for your wonderful words of encouragement. Thank you.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Our water comes from the homestead where mister installed a reverse osmosis filter. We fill a five gallon jug about once a week, give or take a day or two. now that my nose is mostly working, I like to grab a jar and fill it with lemon and cucumber slices...and...for an extra kick, a smidge of vanilla extract..it smells divine and is quite tasty as well.
and just so ya know...I'm on my fifth jar of water today...no lemons, it's still good!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Ack, I gotta get to work...happy Monday!
Friday, January 20, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
We're suppose to have rain for the next few days and our mini heat wave has fled for bluer skies. The tiny casa was not exactly built for temperature. The very loud wall heater musters up enough heat to burn your back when you stand in front of it. It is also very good at making the air up near the mister's head warmer than warm. At least it takes the chill off and at least we have an inside to be in but it is hardly conducive to productivity. The same holds true for Netflix streaming. Gotta shake these mini bits of whininess and rants and get to creating something or at least taking care of those darn boxes I keep talking about. Do I sound like a broken record yet?
One of our neighbors has a cat. This is a pet free building. When I mentioned the cat to the landlord (reason being I wondered if we could have Witch-Baby live here) he told me the cat didn't live here that it was a temporary cat. Wha? The landlord said that the neighbor had his young daughter on the weekends and that the cat was probably hers. Well folks, it seems the cat has been dumped outside as its cute kittenness has been aged out and the little bugger is now a teenager. He's been marking items in the carport and is most definitely NOT fixed. I haven't seen the neighbor lately but am itching to ask him if it is his cat or not. If not, I gotta get the carrier and kidnap the little knucklehead and get his reproductive parts taken care of. There is also a younger cat following this one around and we think this one was probably dumped by one of the (many) college kids up here who seem to pick up and dump off animals without a blink of an eye. It is infuriating. So now I get to be THAT neighbor and have a conversation with the upstairs guy. Bah! Poor kitty.Wish we could have pets here.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Oh and as far as my previous fashion inspired post goes (for the handful of readers who were asking) I got lost on polyvore yesterday and was simply testing it out whilst wishing for a fashionable me. i really do love me some blue and orange. I may post a few more...what do you think? I did manage to craft a smidge while down south. It isn't finished yet but I like it. I picked out the materials at the last minute in the dim light of the living room. I thought the colors were a lot more pink but I like how they look anyway.
Monday, January 16, 2012
*3 mashed bananas
*1/4 cup oil
*1/2 cup brown sugar
*1/2 cup sugar
*2 cups flour
*1 tsp baking soda
*1/4 tsp baking powder
*1-2 tsp cinnamon
*1/4 cup flax meal
*1/2 cup chopped pecans
*a whole lotta chocolate chips
Blend well, bake at 350 (in a greased/floured pan) until toothpick comes clean (around 45 minutes or so) and enjoy warm with a cuppa tea.
I made this bread on Thursday. I really needed to feel productive and there were three very sorry looking bananas camping out on top of the microwave. The casa was chilly and so I mashed away and stirred and poured and then while it baked I called a friend and enjoyed a happy phone call. I am so not a phone person. I enjoyed a slice fresh from the oven and then chopped up the rest for our mini road trip. The mister has already devoured three slices. Good thing I hid the box for the car. Enjoy!
**sometimes I use canned pumpkin instead of bananas and sometimes I steam and mash up a sweet potato. I always add cinnamon. It is so good!
Friday, January 13, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Earlier this week I baked a batch of Valentine's cake-mix cookies. They were fun, smelled crazy sweet and posed quite nicely for pictures. I ate one and was knocked over by the sweet. I'm not sure I mean that in a good way. Mister comes home and sees the cookies and partakes and then partakes some more all the while I holler at him to pace himself. I ate another one yesterday and I think I need to throw them away. They aren't awful but if yer gonna have temptation around, make sure it is worthwhile. They are perfect cookies for a group of kiddos who will demolish them in one sitting but not so Methinks I'm still dosed with a bit of grogginess. Here's to hoping I wake up...
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
I'm also just plowed through two tiny satsumas. The oil from their peels still coats my hands as I type causing small clouds of citrus to puff up around me. The power of scent is not a trivial thing. I hope I can hold onto this super power for a while. The cold that hit me before Christmas seems to finally have decided to move out. I broke down and dosed myself with some powerfully evil medicines. Being able to smell again is a trade off I am willing to gamble with. There is a powerful silence that follows you when you cannot smell anything. I'm not talking stuffy nosed nonsense. I'm talking a true lack of scent. It makes waking up from sleep difficult. It makes the darkness darker and it ruins any enjoyment of simple food. When your nose doesn't work, you lose your ability to truly taste things so you (or me at least) reach for the things that will flavor through. Garlic does not do it, but salt does. A salad with garden fresh herbs won't do but a healthy snowing of cheese on top will. Starchy foods, salty foods all barrel through but they offer no true sustenance or joy. This week, since the sniffer has kicked in I have actually tasted the lemon in my water, the rosemary in my dinner and the jasmine in my tea. Just the awareness of the flavors has me slowing down and slow is a good thing.
Traffic is speeding up on HWY 1 behind the tiny casa. The wind machine at the college is still spinning its ferocious hum and our upstairs neighbor appears to be late for school (man that stompy guy sure can stomp around). I'm almost finished with my tea and the tangerines are done for. It's time for shoes and primping and the looking forward to an afternoon smoothie that I can actually taste!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
You may or may not know that I gift the mister with a Bert & Ernie portrait each Christmas. The last few years, I had portraits painted by two different artists. This year, funds were low and time was short so it was up to me to get my Bert & Ernie on. I knew I wanted to do silhouettes but I couldn't decide how. Frontal or profile? Classic black and white or kitschy colors? What to do?
Sometime in November I picked up a coloring book hoping there would be a good profile or image of the dynamic duo to trace or enlarge. There was one, of Bert and it was smaller than I wanted. I hopped on the internet and searched, searched, searched for something better, bigger, more! Nothing was working out and so I sat back and let the mulling mull some more.
Things narrowed down a smidge when I scored some wood plaques at the Goodwill Outlet in town. Two matchy-matchy plaques of comparable size appeared and I pounced and it was back to the drawing board.
Suddenly it was the week before Christmas (uh-oh) and I uh...needed to get a move on and I was battling the evil cold that swept through town. It was time for me to brave the pencil and draw those fellas myself. Thank goodness I was going for silhouettes for when I tried to add features the poor fellas looked like they were three sheets to the wind. But buckle down I did and I sketchy-sketched both Bert and Ernie onto their own bit of scrap paper and prepared to make stencil for some sponge painting.
I did it!