Friday, October 28, 2011

friday's confessional: october 28

Last Friday I was almost late for work as in I almost left late. The lateness came about when I hit the bathroom for last minute primping, teeth brushing and perhaps a wee bit more. I was almost out the door when I thought I would add a dash of color to my eyes via a flick of mascara. Off came my glasses (which are sadly in need of replacing, stupid fancy coating that is now all peeling off and fuzzing up my vision) and up came the wand and as I leaned in to the mirror so close my nose touched glass (I am VERY nearsighted) I gasped when I saw the mess that was my eyebrow(s).

Yes my friends, I am a grower of unibrows. I would say it was a gift but since I have been growing them since childhood I'll just chalk it up to some kooky genes (sure, I don't have any hair on the inside of my calves but I do grow a mean Frida). Also, I am not much for the artistry of eye makeup and primping. Blame it on my sad raccoon syndrome but I really have no clue as to how to clean up. Lipstick is about all I can muster and even then I muck it up (stupid nerve damage left over from ages ago oral surgery).

I've sung operas on this topic before but I have to say I really need help here in the oculatory follicle region of my face. Sheesh. It took me five minutes to clean the mess up. FIVE MINUTES of torturous pluckity-plucking. And all of that action was centered on my center. Five minutes of excruciating maintenance and I am still in line for a muppet beauty contest. It is crazy how much better a person can look with the removal of a small number of even smaller hairs. If only I had a clue as to how to shape them I might even win a muppet beauty pageant.

I am in desperate need for an aesthetician but I am far too mortified to allow anyone to come near me. Haven't had the Frida attended to since May 2010. I am not very good at being a girl. Not good at all. Oh drats! I just realized I should have left them all in and then I would not have needed any makeup to do myself up as Frida for Halloween. Drats. A ghost it is then...quick, get me a sheet!


  1. awww.....

    poor jek! i would suggest going to a salon and getting them done. at least once. this way they can get you started and you can keep it up from there.

    cause i don't think the unibrow look will every be in fashion. ;)

  2. Anonymous8:11 AM

    Wait, are you me? Thick lush unibrow but entirely hairless calves??

    Next time you're in L.A. you might want to consider seeing the woman who does mine - I get my unibrow threaded (as well as my moustache!). I'm absolutely terrible at this girl stuff, and have a huge phobia when it comes to having attention focused on me in any physical way, but she has a way of making me feel as comfortable as possible.

  3. kittykat12:43 PM

    awww! have the same problem myself sometimes. if you don't want to spend tons of $$$ on the salon, see if threading is available near you! (it's an eastern way of doing eyebrows and they stay pretty for a while!)

  4. go get them done once, then you have a guideline to just keep up with. Much easier. :)