Friday, August 05, 2011

friday's confessional: august 5

Last week, I backed into the sister a-go-go's car. I backed into it while it was parked IN the driveway.

I simply nestled myself into Sir Rodney, turned the key and went into auto pilot; back, back, backing down the long, long driveway. As I happily backed my way out of the long, long driveway I even did a little patty-pat-pat on the back as to how well I was doing. I'm am not really very good at driving in reverse. There are walls on either side of the driveway. Wonky low walls that are difficult to navigate. There is more than enough space on either side but the trickery of those walls fools you into thinking you are about to bumper-car into them.

I used to make mr. a-go-go back the car out but I decided to a-go-go up and just do it already. At first I was stop and go. I'm sure it was quite comical really as I inched Sir Rodney, ever-so-slowly down that long, long driveway in a less than straight line. Poor Rodney would swivel one way then the other as I over thought and over corrected the whole situation. Eventually, I manifested a little bit of Elvis magic and just backed the heck up. Which is what I was doing before I smacked the sister-ago-go's car.

I got in the car, rolled down the window and stuck my head out to gauge my distance with the wall and backed up. Confidently so as I was now a pro you see. As I was doing it I thought how much faster I was gassing it and then I thought "Oh, this is how people back up over their pets" and at once I imagined I was about to back over the deaf orange and white tom-cat that roams the neighborhood when BLAM!

You might wonder how on earth I managed to not see an entire vehicle parked in the driveway and all honesty I have to tell you I never looked. We don't park cars in the driveway here. Two cars go in the garage and Sir Rodney hangs out in the back just to the side of the garage. Had I actually looked in the mirror I would have seen said vehicle but nope, I was on autopilot and simply backed, backed, backed myself outta there like the bees knees I thought I was.

I am sooooo not the bees knees. And now, I am afraid to back out of the driveway.


  1. All cars should be like the Push-Me-Pull-You from the real Doctor Dolittle. 2 fronts & no backs, then you would never need to reverse, just get in the appropriate facing front. :)

  2. Oh my goodness----I did this EXACT same thing a couple months ago!! No one ever parks in our driveway. But one night I was in a hurry to go to work & some friends were over visiting the hubbby. (And they had parked in the driveway.) I didn't look as I cranked it in reverse. BAM! It was so loud! I started bawling like a baby. haha! It was one of those: one little thing causes an avalanche of emotion. I felt like such a dork!!

  3. I'm not good at backing either. Last year, just a week or so before I retired from the school where I had worked for 21 years (and parked) I backed into a fence and knocked it down. Fortunately, there were no people or cars in the lot, just the fence. $200 to fix the fence; $1200 to fix the bumper.