Wednesday, March 23, 2011

on hands and rambling

i've been using my hands a lot this week. it's funny how much we take for granted these everyday working parts of ours. i say this because yesterday i trapped my hand in a drawer in such a way i thought i broke it. the middle finger of my left hand to be exact. i was tucking in an errant strand of yarn after stashing a bag of dryer lint into my craft drawer. what? YOU don't collect dryer lint? anyhow...the rollers on said drawer are very smooth. so smooth that the drawer shut practically on its own thus trapping the middle finger of my left hand in its clutches. there was an instant moment where i recognized the pain and stopped breathing. it was a toe-stubbing kind of pain. the kind that makes you suck in everything around and wonder in absolute silence how anything can hurt so freaking much! the kind where once the pain stops you cradle your toe or hand or finger and look at it and wonder how it can still be attached and then you try to move it and the pain hits all over again. it was almost too much. almost. but i applied ice and practiced moving it around and while it hurt worse than a toe-stubbing (why does it hurt so much to toe stub one's toe anyway?), it didn't really appear to be broken and so i went to bed and hoped it got better because it was my left hand and i am a leftie and i kinda like using that hand (never mind the difficulties i had attempting to scoop out some after dinner ice cream...what a fiasco!). all night long as song after song played in my head thanks to a loverly mix i created, i was aware of a great soreness in my hand and so i never really slept, i just dozed and snorted and listened to tunes and dozed and maybe snored a little snore every once in awhile until i woke up in the morning shortly after the mister left for work. i managed to forget all about my sad, sad finger (you know, the middle finger on my left hand) until i went to dry my hands after the morning wash up and managed to TWIST it again as if i'm some sort of super human. it was then i noticed the nice purpley-green-blue bruise that hovered over the knuckle. it still hurts the darned bruised thing and it is taking me a lot longer to do things (you should see me typing this out) but i am grateful that i have two hands that for the most part work.

so, like any good blogger, i took a picture of my hand, the middle finger of my left hand, to share with you the pretty pretty bruise i'm wearing but not until after i made sure to lavish on some lotion because that first shot i took was lotion free and well, that was kinda a scary hand in that shot. so i did my darndest to pretty up the hand and i didn't care that i'm only mostly dressed for the day (it is raining after all and the mister has the car) and no my socks are not unmatching, they are miss-matched and it was as i was taking my oh-so-glamourous hand shot (which reminds me of another story of how i used to tell people i was either a hand model or an earring model when they asked what i did for a living) that along with the sad state and pudginess of my hands i could see a trace amount of silver paint along the right thumb as if i held hands with the Tin-Man. it made me stop and look a little more close at these hands of mine and i thought to myself, pudge and all that these are my hands. they have done so much, and far too little all at the same time. they are soft at times and calloused at others. they hold scars which hold stories and pencil lead (which tell two more stories) and hangnails and teethmarks from the witch-baby. they are strong hands, crafting hands, sewing hands and baking hands. they are hands that attempt things and reattempt things like crochet and ukulele playing. they are hands that doodle and sketch and draw and drum impatiently when i am bored, bored, bored. they are hands that cannot type very well or tie knots very well but they are mine, each dent, bump, soft spot and pudge...mine all mine and sometimes they are the mister's as well as we hold on to each others' through thick and thin wearing our rings with Looney Tunes quotes...

these hands, pudge and all, bruise and all, are pretty good hands. if i do say so myself.

4 comments:

  1. Anonymous6:55 PM

    Well the finger isn't twisted or bent at a wonky angle so that's good. If a doctor had it x-rayed and pronounced it broken, chances are she/he would only put a finger splint on it (available at any drug store) and buddy tape it to your other finger(s) with white medical tape (also available at a drug store, probably near the finger splints) and then say "take it off in 6 weeks. It is definitely a pain in the neck to have that durn thing on but that's how it stays immobile and knits itself back together. :) Hope it feels better soon. ~Lori

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  2. HA! I collect dryer lint too! It's so pretty & visually tactile, I want to lick it (not literally) I hope your finger is better fast.

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  3. oh! i know what you mean. i clutch it and wonder what can i DO with it, it is THAT pretty! heehee...finger is much better, i am using it and it only hurts when i forget it is injured and then squeeze it or use it to open a jar or something.

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  4. few betto, witto finguh!

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