Thursday, December 30, 2010

thursday already?

sigh. i don't know how it got to be almost 2011. i have not felt like writing much but not because i am in a bad or good place, i just don't have any words in my head. now i'm thinking this may not bode well for the new year. what is a girl to do?
we have spent this week walking around the central coast. we've walked around blocks, in parking lots, around the homestead, atop bluffs overlooking the pacific and in forests brimming over with mushrooms. we sploshed about through muck and mud, craggy grass and poison oak, cement and rain puddles. we've walked bundled up in our new hats, dorkily clad in neon blue windbreakers and nothing more than a t-shirt and jeans. it has been warm and cold, windy and rainy and right now it is darn right FREEZING (though maybe not for you who have snow right now). i haven't made, crafted or baked a darn thing unless you count the pho i made (along with mr. a-go-go) for dinner tonight which actually was quite tasty.
there is a towering pile of who-knows-what on the table in our temporary room that needs to be sorted and holiday goodness to be packed up and carefully placed jenga-style amongst all the other boxes that contain our lives. i have partial lists and scritchy-scratchy notes chicken-scratched about on various scraps of paper that need organizing. there are projects that need to be made and crafty stuff that needs to be written up and photographed but i'm jut not feeling it. not feeling it at all.  so i guess i will try and focus on a plan, a game-plan for not going completely batty in 2011. a game plan that will cushion my sanity when i find myself still unemployed and sleeping in a space that is not my own. the space we're sharing right now is great, nothing bad about it, it's just not home, ya know? sigh. sigh. sigh.
so as not to completely become a panic bird i will remember the fantastic mushrooms we saw today..they were enormous in all sorts of wonka wonder. the walk was a nifty one and we would have walked more if hunger hadn't walloped us.  and i was so happy and joyful that i managed to slosh about without needing a huff on my puffer..not a wheeze manifested um until we got back to the car but that's okay since these past few days i have been sucking on that darn inhaler like it was butter fudge...mmmm...butter fudge. i will remember the ice that teetered atop the bird bath and the bluer than blue sky that cradled the icy winds that rushed to knock us over as we wandered from fungus to fungus. i will remember the fish and chips we shared at lunch and the fantastic peanut butter cookies we picked up from this lovely little cookery. rather than panic that i feel like i have lost a bit of my imagined mojo, i will reflect on the quiet days we've had wandering about, trying to find our place in this space. i think it is a good way to send off the old year and welcome the new. how about you?

1 comment:

  1. I hear ya. Wishin you good health and the best of joy for 2011. I love reading your blog, you seem to be able to put into words those messed up 'what on earth is going on' feelings. I so empathise you with you and so love your focus on the small simple thankful pleasures that life delivers us, you make me smile, so thank you and have a wonderful New year

    ReplyDelete