Friday, January 22, 2010

today: january 22

today is not really the kind of day one would write about. it's raining. has been all week. it's cold inside the casa so i have the heater on with the bedroom door shut keeping my fingers crossed that it heats up enough to remove the chill that creeps up my neck and tickles my toes.

i woke up to see mr. a-go-go off to work and since there were no pressing deadlines today, i thought i would linger a bit on the sofa wrapped up in quilts. much to my surprise i conked out for another three hours and didn't wake up until 10am. it's been a long time since i did that. i used to sleep, sleep, sleep my days away. that was when the brain was a very unhappy brain and i was a very unhappy lobster-girl. now i tend to be an early to bed and early to rise sort.

i've been battling with a legion of allergies that seem to be playing ping-pong in my chest. last week i felt so very awful i set up an appointment with my lung doc but then i canceled when i felt almost normal two days later. earlier this week i thought i was on the mend so i puttered about doing this and that and attacked a planet of dust hiding behind the steamer trunk in the bedroom. i probably should have worn a mask. them angry little dust particles invaded again and all my muscles are tight with hurt from coughing and (attempts at) breathing.

i am now fully aware of how allergic i am to dust. it makes sense really. the first of this awful, awful lung stuff happened just weeks after my mother died. i had to clean out her home and if you think i am a collector...

i was getting breathing treatments weekly and making kissy-face with my rescue inhaler as if it were a new boyfriend. it can get tiring having your friends and other random people tell you what you should do with your health. the comments of "you sure get sick a lot" really don't help. really? i do? i hadn't noticed...cough...cough. so now i know, dust is really really bad for me. it's one of the reasons why i am attempting this purge. mr. a-go-go just might get his wish to do it all himself since i tend to collapse in wheezy fits anytime a cloud of dust floats by.

so today, i am feeling mighty uncomfortable. last night i wailed for maybe a minute when i couldn't take the pressure any more. the crying fit actually helped a tad but my tears were in low reserve. i am a gurgly-girl. not coughing really, at least not until the sun sets. it's like some sort of vampiric ailment. i get wheezy wheezy and need to cough enough to get the monster in my lungs out and once it happens (totally gross, i know) i can breath freely until the next goon in line wants out.

the coughing though can get hairy hence all the muscle aches. i think i pulled something in my back. i'm all slathered up with eucalyptus rub (yummy) and i'm drinking tea more than i'm taking breaths. i swear, if i have to pee one more time...aack!

and that's it. today has been spent, drinking tea, trying to hack up the angry goons inside me, researching bits and bobbs for the BIG trip and reading words that are so wonderful i wonder if i should throw all my pencils away. if i had my brain on right, i would have stayed far, far away from the computer and played hooky on the couch wrapped up in quilts reading and dreaming the day away.


  1. I feel your misery. I have spent the last 2 1/2 years trying to breathe well. Pills, nasal spray, vaporizers, sleeping almost upright. Dust started it. Augh. My heart is with you.

  2. a rice bag (heating pad) with some eucalyptus in it on your chest & a lovely steam bath always helps me when congestion is bad. I hope you get well soon & I LOVE the 'mingos.

  3. aw man amber! i am so very sorry. not being able to breath normally is an awful thing! December 2008 was simply horroriffic for me and i got better only to get sick again. it's totally the dust too. i need ot not be a collector! i do a nasal spray and two pills plus i'm trying to get the hang of a neti-pot. sigh.

    foof: that would smell sooo good! i will try that once i get my act in gear and make one. :)