Thursday, January 01, 2009

oh the drama! a new year's day saga.

Did I tell you I got new bandages for Christmas? They are super pretty you know. Pretty enough to not mind jabbing yourself with a needle while sewing. Even almost pretty enough to not hate the world when you get yet another paper cut. They were designed by Kate Sutton. She's pretty nifty. I got them in my after Christmas stocking which knocked my socks off, but that is okay because there were three pairs of happy socks just itching to be broken in. And they have been. I am an equal opportunity sock wearer. I even wear tabis, toe socks, trouser socks and those plain white footie socks.It figures though that a girl as accident prone as me ceases to accident when there are pretty bandages about. You know how children adore band-aids? How they run to you for every itty-bitty bump and scratch and imagined bump and scratch? How a cranky tot can be made magically happy by a kiss and a band-aid? I was thinking that maybe just maybe my (imagined) cranky mood could be cured by one of my new bandages. But then I got distracted by all the new, pretty fabric at Fat Quarter Shop and eQuilter and Superbuzzy. Happy fabric is the ultimate in mood boosting. Some women by shoes or lipstick, I look at fabric and um, sometimes (mostly) I buy some.

When my mood started to wane, I remembered I wanted to see if I could find more Berry Sweet eye candy. Back in November I came across all the happy pink and green owls and sock monkeys and couldn't justify buying any of it because I don't actually use any of my scrapbooking stuff. Not yet, but I will, oh I will. All that happy, prettiness made me ooh and ahh and I forgot all about my bandages.So, this morning, I had a plan to bring in the new year with all sorts of goodness. The January Bed linens had been assembled and there was a bed to be made all pretty-like. I wanted to make granola so that I had a snack at school next week and of course there was rice to be made. I even decided to make a batch of black eyed peas so that this new year would be guaranteed a good one. Lately though, our Earthlink connection has been extra dopey so I needed something to do in between the bouts of downed servers and stupidness. So there I was, attempting yet again to log onto flickr only to find no service. I would hop into the kitchen and mix up the granola bits then hop back to reboot. Back and forth and back and forth I flitted about. Reboot, vacuum, reboot, put pillowcases on pillows, reboot chop onion. Things were going as well as they could be. I had happy tunes on and I was making plans for the new year. Once again our internet failed so I popped back into the kitchen to get those onions into the pot and then, clumsy girl appeared.

I scooped up all the onions onto the blade of the very large, very heavy and very, very sharp cleaver we use. (oh, I found that if you chop the onion after it has been in the fridge you can do it tear free! yay!) So I scooped and I dumped but then clumsy girl decided to knock the handle of the very large, very heavy and very, very sharp cleaver into the bakers rack next to the stove. She knocked the blade of the very large, very heavy and very, very sharp cleaver clean into her finger. Yikes! But I'm quick and I don't lose my wits when I really need them. Boom! Knife gets dropped onto the counter (and not on the floor or on the cat or my foot). Wham! Cold water is turned on and my now crimson finger is shoved under the stream. Left hand squeezes over sad finger and I think I should probably look at it a bit more closely. A peek is taken and a cloth is definitely needed. Lucky for me I have a happy clean cloth right next to me (oh drats! it's handpainted just for me, a gift from SoMany, sorry!). Finger gets wrapped, the very vibrant show of my O+ is rinsed down the drain and I grab the phone to find someone who can take me to the hospital. The mister has the car. I'm not able to get through right away so I take a breath and call the mister and do my best to let him know that I still have all my digits but there is a lot of blurd and I want to be sure so can he come home and gimme a ride? After we hang up I get in touch with my Roomie who is closer than the mister and she hightails it over to cab me to my birthplace.In the car I am told to stop describing the accident but I am also told that my hair looks nice. She's such a good friend that Roomie. We get to be seat warmers in the emergency room and the mister shows up and we wait. And wait. And wait. Finally I get in and all my vitals are taken. I'm alive, which is a pretty good thing I hear. We give the doctor a peek at my finger and he says "Put a band-aid on it and discharge her.* Huh? But the blurd, the gushing, the throbbing, the pain! I shrug it off and think better safe than sorry and we get to wait for an official type to put on my band-aid. When he comes in to look at my finger he seems amused. I make sure to tell him it was a very large, very heavy and very, very sharp cleaver. As he puts on the special bandage thingie I suddenly remember that I have pretty bandages at home. I brighten up, wish everyone a happy new year and after the mister pays for my $100 official bandage thingie we head home where I can put on one of my pretty bandages.

So here I am now with a pretty bandage on my very unhappy finger. It hurts worse than a paper cut with lemon juice poured over it but at least it is pretty and it keeps me off dirty dish duty and the mister is now making me some good luck black eyed peas. I hope he is careful with that very large, very heavy and very, very sharp cleaver. Happy New Year everyone and remember, it can only go uphill from here!*In my defense, it is only because I took such good care of the wound that I managed to stave of stitches (okay, it would have probably only have been one stitch or some glue or something). Because I got the bleeding to stop and I held it together (literally AND mentally) the wound managed to seal itself back up and not gape. I may be accident prone but at least I know how to dress a wound. Yes, with a very pretty bandage.

3 comments:

  1. Oh Jek! Leave it to you to you to start the new year with a bang.

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  2. Oh no and it sounds like they didn't even offer up any sympathy with their $100 bandage. How rude! I hope your finger feels better. They could have at least given you something for the lemon juice on the cut feeling pain for that price. Gosh.....

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  3. Ouch! Hope the finger is on the mend! If it makes you feel better, I almost took off my finger with my brand new mandolin slicer *wince* because I thought I "didn't need to use the safety holder." Luckily, I was able to glue the flap back on with liquid skin. Love that stuff, way cheaper than the ER!

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