Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Sad

Many years ago, a good, dear friend told me it was difficult being my friend. She said that I had such high expectations from those around me and that I, myself, was so "good" that it was hard to compete. While what she said startled me, I think I understood what she meant. I do have high expectations and I do spend a lot of time thinking through how my actions will affect others. I have also learned though that we can only all do as best we can and that sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we can never fully understand another's depth of feeling, focus and motives. Each one of us has a life experience that cannot be completely shared with anyone. We can swap stories, make comparisons but I can never truly walk in your shoes nor you in mine. With all this I have just written, I have failed someone else. They had expectations and I didn't follow through. My own tail spin swept through and did some major damage and all I can say are words. Sorry doesn't really help when people are depending on you and you can't be there. It wasn't pretty and my character was attacked and the words that were spewed at me hurt, really hurt. I haven't slept, I haven't eaten enough and I selfishly feel poorly. What I want to put out there is that my intentions were always good, my concern was there and I am far removed from a casual person in my feelings. I never imagined failing you and for that, I am simply sorry, truly sorry. I am.

5 comments:

  1. we have all been where you are at right now. and it sucks. but it's inevitible at times. just have to learn from the situation & try to grow from it. hang in there!

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  2. Jek, remember though, are their expecations reasonable? People have to remember that everyone is human, and therefore fallible. Friends shouldn't feel like they have to be as "good" as each other, or "compete". All you have to do is be there for each other, and show compassion and understanding. That's it.
    Keep being a good soldier fighting the good fight.

    By the way, I don't usually send virtual hugs, but big cuddles for you! xx

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  3. What's that trite saying.."to err is human..."
    Sayings become overused when they are true.

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  4. Gosh, Jek - Really hope things sort themselves out. Sending you big hugs...

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  5. I'm wondering if this is the post of which you spoke--sorry.

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