Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Phle-gm

Every morning the neighbor who lives behind us hacks up a storm. It's not just a simple H-A-A-AC-K sound, it is more like that horrible phlegmy monstrosity your brother would do as he sat on you and prepared to hock a loogie in your face when you were kids. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you're missing out.

Seriously though, I hear it EVERY morning and it's gross. What does he do? Go outside and become one with nature? I imagine he spits it out somewhere in their backyard. He probably spits it in the general area of where they pulled out the glorious lemon tree that had been there from the previous owners. Neighbors, ya gotta love them. These are the same people who use their tiny hibachi grill just outside their kitchen door in such a manner that the smoke blows INTO the kitchen and sets off the smoke alarm which they ignore. For many minutes. These are the same people who for no good reason, hacked up their beautiful concord grape vine while it was chock full of the purple jewels. They then built a grape arbor of sorts and the vine has come back but still, it made a mess and all that fruit was wasted. We did score some of the wood though and now have two vines ourselves.
making grapes
Lookie the goodness as it grows! They are huge now. These are also the same people who wail. We think it must be some sort of prayer but the wailing can get really really loud and disturbing, ooh and they fight. Once my old neighbor thought we should call the police because it was so loud and violent sounding. It's the kind of loud you think will make them end up on COPS. Unfortunately they fight in a language that I don't understand so for all I know she's yelling at him about dirty underwear or something. These are also the people who have planted out sod for the dirt patch that runs along the sidewalk...three times, and don't water it. They put in a dozen rose bushes with cactus right next to them and underneath. They just put in the rose bushes. It's hot. It's summer. I'm not sure if the nonexistent roses are gonna come out. I guess it beats living on the other side of the courtyard where the whiney neighbor spies on everything we do and complains. She also goes through our trash and tries to sell it at her many garage sales. I'm telling ya, neighbors, you gotta love them.

I just got back from Felt Club XL Summer and I think I need to pass out now...after I drink my Izze Soda and take pictures of all my loot. Happy Sunday!

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