Saturday, June 24, 2017

i got nothin'

nothin' to share...I'm trying to commit to writing ten days straight and truly my creative juices are stuck to a pan somewhere in the back of a cabinet.

when I was in second grade, we were given our very own journals made of that public school newsprinty paper with the pale red and blue dashed lines across its length carefully stapled inside two pieces of colored construction paper. we were assigned to make daily entries and mine consistently went something like this:

"Dear diary,
Today I woke up, watched cartoons and ate cereal for breakfast."

every single day. forty something years later, things haven't changed much...

"Dear diary,
Today I woke up, drank some water, ate some cereal, and watched Gilmore Girls."

and there you have it. my life in a nutshell. 

Friday, June 23, 2017


I couldn't sleep last night. Stupid songs were stuck in my noggin and my brain would not turn off. It was warm but not hot and I tried, I really tried to hit the hay at a decent hour but with every toss and turn,  I worried I would wake the mister up and so I hied back to the living room to see if music would cast away the commercial jingle and maybe make me sleepy...

It didn't.

That may be due to my choice in tunes thanks to prime music on amazon...I felt nostalgic and so of course I thought Guns N Roses would do the trick.

It didn't.

So, from there, I listened to Bombadil and that really eyes grew droopy and I decided I could crash right there on the sofa once I put the laptop away...

I didn't.

No sooner had I drifted off to snoozeland my eyes popped open and I sat up quickly with a thought in the noggin...


I had dental work done on Monday and due to my wonky jaw, I have to jump through all sorts of hoops to get me through the process. Dental work usually leaves me groggy and in a state of mouthy discomfort for a few days after so I need to stock up on soft foods such as applesauce, yogurt, pudding, and....avocados.

I was certain I had bought two avocados on Sunday but just then realized I had neither enjoyed them, nor seen them in the kitchen, anywhere. I was certain I got them. I remembered the price sign and stopping my cart to back up to ogle the jewels of the guacamole world. I remembered chuckling to myself as I was reminded about the first time I was sent out to purchase avocados for my brother and how thinking the soft, darkened fruits were bad so that I arrived at my brother's with two very green, very gloriously hard ovoids and how he laughed and very nicely, with no snark at all, teach me the ways of how to select a perfect avocado.

I got up and stubbed my toe on the coffee table, tripped over my too long pajama bottoms, shinned myself on the mama a-go-go's chair, and then stubbed my toe again on the kitchen table all before I could get a light on in the kitchen. I got the light on, but not before I managed to swipe my phone off the side table so that it clattered and spun across the wood floors. Oof! Sadly, there was not an avocado to be seen and by this time I was more awake than not and feeling a little hungry so why not eat a cup of pudding because chocolate pudding is just like avocados, right?

So, I did. I ate a cup of pudding, in the dark, and hobbled back over to the sofa to settled in with the laptop. I sent myself and email reminder to check the car for avocados...five day old avocados...and then played a game or two of Scrubby Dubby before somehow gloriously dropping my laptop on my own noggin.


Eventually, I guess I fell asleep and when I woke up, I headed out for errands completely forgetting to check the car for avocados.

At some point, after a couple stops, I remembered and checked and...discovered a bag with two very sad and very spotty avocados.

Tomorrow, we're eating guacamole.

Thursday, June 22, 2017

taking care of business

Nothing makes ya feel more like a (middle-aged) grown up than spending the day getting yer bits smooshed. Okay, that's only partly I got an ultrasound on my thyroid, a mammogram (in 3D no less), and a wellness appointment done. I also managed a coffee date, and a pizza run. Adulting for the win!
First off was my ultrasound...the diagnostic place I have been going to for the past seven years seems to be under new ownership every other year or so. This time around it is under the umbrella of Dignity Health (I'm not a fan) and it seems the powers that be for DH really do not like their employees...I walk into the main office and the front desk clerks are all decked out in orange smocks. ORANGE in OITNB...not the best first least they are fairly quick. While I was waiting I learned that I did not need an order for a boob smoosh so I scheduled one for later in the day and got my thyroid scanned first.
Next up was my wellness checkup with a brand spankin' new doctor. The office is in a building I drive by all the time that looks a bit of a mess on the outside but the inside is all sorts of mid-century coolness. I may have taken a picture or two...sadly they did not come out very well but here ya go...
The new doc is awesome and I look forward to a continued relationship but now it was time for lunch before the smoosh. I headed home and partook of a slice of two (or three...) of cinnamon toast (not the best choice but it worked) before heading out for a fancy pants boob smoosh but not before I noticed my navy top left all sorts of navy fuzz all over my pits...zoinks and phew! I'm glad I noticed it before heading out...
The smoosh took 15 minutes and was only uncomfortable when she had to move my...ahem...belly and/or chin(s) out of the why. So much siiiigh...but it was fairly quick and the gown she had me change into gave me a great big chortle as it was less a gown and more of a shawl...a very awful hospital printed glorified shawl...there is just no way one can walk with confidence through a hall with other people lounging about in their gowns and shawls...if anything, I gave me a good laugh (though I think I insulted my technician who insisted it was a cape...if ya wanna call it a cape, make it a bonafide cape!)
I ended my grown-up adventure with a coffee date with a favorite person at a new coffee place that I probably will nbot be returning to. Not because it was bad, more because is was so-so and I live walking distance from Scout 2, which is very much delicious. So there ya go...being an adult sometimes mean getting the girls smooshed.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

cranky be gone!

I grew up in the home of a sleeper. My mother slept. A lot. Part of it was depression, part of it was the lupus. I grew up in the home of a sleeper on the third floor of an apartment building so I learned to be quiet early on in my life which meant when someone was did not try to wake them up.

Not waking someone up means not starting your laundry at 7:30 in the morning on the third day of the sleeping person's vacation. Sigh. I'm cranky. Also cranky-inducing? The neighbor who uses his garage for an office, the garage that is only a few feet from the bedroom window. The garage he rattles open right after a major loogie hocking fest...aaargh...

The nice muscle relaxing meds have finally left my system and now my neck is crankier than I am. So now I'm cranky and whiny which is a great combo for the second day of summer. See? CRANKY!

So, to combat the crankiness, I took my cranky self outside to read in the garden. I didn't read for long as I was distracted by the bees, the birdies, and the breeze. After a deep breath or too, I shuffled my no-longer-cranky self into the homestead for a cup of cold coffee...happy summer!

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

june 20

Today, I woke up with stupid hair. It is not uncommon for me to awake to stupid hair, but today's stupid hair made me grateful I had nowhere I needed to be. No amount of brushing would make it look less than stupid. So, I dampened the brush and now I look like I have a head of stringy, wet stupid hair. It's like I'm a teenager all over again, only I'm pretty sure I would get a whole lotta "bless her heart" looks from strangers.  It's THAT stupid.

Yesterday I had a party with the dentist. An old crown moved out making the snazzy digs at the back of my mouth available for something new. Due to my tiny crooked jaw, something as easy as jazzing up new digs becomes a bit of a blunder. Even cleanings are uncomfortable for me. So, armed with a dazzling array of pills, I took a deep breath and on my very first day of official summer vacation, I had an old crown removed and my bite adjusted. All of this was done while I was a teeny bit doped up with all those dazzling pills. On the plus side, I was less doped up than usual so I could listen to my ancient iphone shuffle through Neko Case, Elizabeth Cotton, Pokey LaFarge, and various preschool related tunes, but I could also feel the discomfort enough that my anxiety shot up and my blood pressure was just kooky. After it was all over, I was escorted down the hall to the waiting arms of mr. a-go-go. I don't remember much except that I got a strawberry milkshake and then fell asleep for five hours.

Which leads me to today, I'm still a smidge groggy but not so groggy I did not notice my stupid hair. My jaw is still uncomfortable and my gums are really pissed off at me, but I breakfasted on a wee bowl of yogurt with a smattering of blueberries and managed to brew up a really awful pot of coffee. The aging witch-baby is sleeping next me, and I can here the neighborhood kites do their best imitations of pterodactyls they can muster. So while the witch-baby holds me captive on the sofa, I will endeavor to finish reading the two library books I have had since April, finish the really awful coffee I brewed, and do my best to get my neck untweaked so that the rest of summer my stupid hair will be a smidge less than stupid.

Saturday, May 13, 2017

photo diary: may 7-12

may 7: pretty scone; pretty bloom; perfect cuppa; tacos for deener
may 8: coffee date; old friend; backyard berries; new skirt
may 9: classroom critters; painting lizards; roly polies; dinner
may 10: bunnies; blooms; birdie; yummy
may 11: garden goodness; mother's day bloom; pretend; breakfast for dinner
may 12: all the green books; new peas; fun colors; lunch